This is just some stuff I swiped from another site I am sure it has been floating around in some form or other so some of you have probably seen it already

You know you've been in Japan too long when...

...you rush onto an escalator, and just stand there.
...you find yourself bowing while you talk on the phone.
...you start thinking can coffee tastes good.
...when you wait for the first day of summer to wear short sleeve dress shirts.
...when the first option you buy for your car is a TV set.
...you don't think it unusual for a truck to play "It's a Small World" when backing up.
...you really enjoy corn soup with your Big Mac.
...you think the opposite of red is white.
...you buy a potato-and-strawberry sandwich for lunch without cringing.
...people stop complementing you on your Japanese, and start asking you where you had your nose and eyes done.
...you wonder why Prince Akihito is already getting grey hair, and why you don't see much of the Emperor these days.
...you think birds cry.
...you are not surprised to wake up in the morning and find that the woman who stayed over last night has completely cleaned your apartment, even though you'll probably never ever meet her again.
...you develop a liking for green tea flavored ice cream.
...you think the best part of TV are the commercials.
...your mother talks about "you foreigners."
...matter of fact, you've never even been skiing, but the rack looks great on the car...
...you have mastered the art of simultaneous bowing and hand-shaking.
...when you think it's alright to stick your head into a stranger's apartment to see if anybody's home.
...when you find nothing unusual in a television commercial for candy in which a model dressed in a high school girl's uniform comes up behind another model dressed in a high school girl's uniform, grabs her left breast, gives a devilish grin, and skips away.
...you think the natural location for a beer garden is on a roof.
...you think "white pills, blue pills, and pink powder" is an adequate answer to the question "What are you giving me, doctor?".
...you have discovered the sexual attraction of high school navy uniforms.
...you think 4 layers of wrapping is reasonable for a simple piece of merchandise.
...you don't find anything strange about a city that puts a life sized, red-and-white painted Eiffel tower imitation in its center, as well as a scale model of the Versaille Palace for its Crown Prince.
...when looking out the window of your office, you think "Wow, so many trees!" Instead of "Wow, so much concrete!"
...when in the middle of nowhere, totally surrounded by rice fields and abundant nature, you aren't surprised to find a drink vending machine with no visible means of a power supply...
...and when you think nothing of it when that lonely vending machine says 'thank you' after you buy a coke.
...you have a favorite bush to pee behind.
...a non-Japanese sits down next to you on the train and you get up and move. You're not prejudiced, but who knows what they might do?.
...you only have 73 transparent, plastic umbrellas in your entrance because you have donated 27 to the JR and various taxi companies in the past few months.
...you have over 100 small, transparent plastic umbrellas in your entrance even *after* donating 27 of them to taxis and JR recently.
...when your arguing with someone about the color of the traffic light being blue or green... and you think it's blue.
...you can't have your picture taken without your fingers forming the peace sign.
...when you think one kind of rice tastes better than another kind.
...when you rush home from work to catch the last few minutes of sumo.
...when you pull out your ruler to underline words.
...you return the bow from the cash machine.
...you can't find the "open" and "close" buttons in the elevator because they're in English.
...you can't read your kids the Three Little Pigs without giggling when you get the part about "Not by the hair of chinny chin chin."
...you bow to other drivers who give you the right of way.
...you fully understand the concept of "cute culture"
...walking into a crowded bar full of non-Japanese makes you nervous, because they "look dangerous." (This was passed on to me second-hand, I'm not that far gone, yet.)
...you walk to the local seven eleven in your wife's shoes.
...you run for the Yamanote line pushing people left and right, jump on the train holding the doors open to let your bag follow you on. Because you know there will not be another one for at least a minute.
...when you're impressed with a girl with a 94 cm bust (Hosokawa Fumie).
...you find yourself apologizing at least three times per conversation.
...you find your self asking all your foreign acquaintances what their blood types are.
...you find yourself practicing golf swings with your umbrella on the train platform.
...you take practice golf swings on the train platform *without* an umbrella in your hand.
...you buy an individually wrapped potato in the supermarket.
...you think that "Lets SPORTS yOUNG gAY CluB" is a perfectly normal T shirt logo for a middle aged lady.
...you have a friend who lives in an apartment building called CREME SODA.
...small skinny hairless men turn you on (for ladies).
...you think no car is complete without a tissue box on the rear shelf and a feather duster in the trunk.
...lunch is yesterday's leftovers out of a Hello Kitty bento box.
...you see some real cleavage and think WOW!
...when you develop the fine sense of Japanese manners that prevents you from facing traffic when you take a leak outside.
...you remember when the average Japanese person under about 30 did not have a telephone.
...you claim a seat at a Wendy's by putting your bag on it, fully expecting it to still be there when you return with your burger.
...you get excited by words like: "health," "soap," "fashion," "image," and "pink."
...you are willing to travel enormous distances just to take a bath.
...somebody crashes into you and you apologize, insisting that the accident was your fault.
...when you read "lets fit together" at your local sports club and don't immediately think of sex.
...when paying $2000 in gift money to the landlord of your new apartment doesn't make you really angry!
...the English rendition of any Japanese company president's corporate welcome makes perfect sense to you.
...you feel perfectly normal stepping out of a bank with $50,000 in cash in a cute paper bag in one hand, and a box of soap in the other.
...it does not strike you as strange that an attractive, fashionable and career-minded young woman who went to high school in the United States, graduated from Harvard and studied at Oxford has never, at least as far as the Imperial Household Agency can tell, had a boyfriend.
...you are surprised the urinal does *not* flush automatically when you walk away from it.
...it does not annoy you when a map is oriented in a direction other than north.
...you think nothing about a residential building covered from top bottom in white bathroom tiles.
...you're considering buying an ashtray for your bicycle.
...you start saying things like: "Yes, I can't do this."
...you face driving winds and wade through knee-deep water to get to work.
...when on a visit some home, you say something like "Wow, a dollar buys so much!" and are surprised to find everyone looking at you funny.
...when you try to get a girl to "teach" you her phone number.
...if you think you're actually worth the salary you earn.
...you first let yourself in and then (from the inside) knock on the door and shout "hello".
...you walk through your neighborhood, and a house that was there yesterday is gone without a trace, and you don't blink.
...when you begin to think the holiday that falls on December 25 is spelled, "X'mas".
...you don't even do a double-take at seeing, next to a display of whistling kettles at Seiyu, a device for testing the whistle of a kettle before buying it.
...you have learned the art of riding a bicycle while holding an umbrella over your head.
...you are embarrassed to death because the phone number on your name card has changed
...you return from a hiking trip with brand-new, unscratched, unsoiled, top-of-the-line hiking gear.
...you think "for beautiful human life" is a nice advertising slogan.
...you are jeaous of your friend because the camera strap that came with his new Minolta camera says "With you for the best scenes of your life" and yours doesn't.
...when you hear words like "crunky generation" "mooney man" "Bongo Friendy" "charmy green" and "mapple" and do not get the heebie-jeebies.
...when you have an ATM card in your wallet called Happy Time Card Dick.
...when you think powdered coffee creamer is "milk."
...when a truck backs up playing the Parade of Lights theme from Disnelyand and this seems cute to you.
...if you say things like "almost students are late to school."
...when you are uncomfortable using the word "bathroom" for "toilet" since they're really totally different.
...when you know what it is to wake up in the morning and find a chopstick wrapper with a girl's phone number on it.
...if you think there is nothing strange about watching the Superbowl half-time sports news and having the newscaster tell you the outcome of the game, before they've broadcast the second half.
...if you think there that blue and light blue are totally unrelated colors.

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